


A Pureblood Bride

by meandminniemcg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, But blood purism still exists, Coming Out, Cursebreaker!Sirius, Curses, Established Relationship, Gender Issues, James and Lily are Sirius' best and most stubborn friends, M/M, MindHealing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2020-12-17 13:00:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meandminniemcg/pseuds/meandminniemcg
Summary: Sirius has done what he can, even become a very successful cursebreaker, but he himself is cursed by Bellatrix and can't get married to Remus. James and Lily insist that something can be done to overcome the curse. Can a cursebreaker, and attorney and a mindhealer find a way to avoid a deadly danger?





	1. Dorcas and Marlene's Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:A big thank you to TheEagleQueen for beta reading this fic, and to CheekyTorah for giving me expert advice and to all my writer friends who answered weird questions when I needed the answers for research for this fic. This fic may be a self-prompted fic, but the idea to it was inspired by a Discord conversation with Ro (TheEagleQueen) and Youblitheringidiot, Thank you. <3

“Uncle Padfoot?” Harry tugged at Sirius’ white sleeve and looked at him with his big green eyes.

“Yes, Prongslet?” Sirius squatted down to be at eyelevel with the five-year-old.

“If Aunt Marls and Aunt Dorcas can get married and have a kid, will you marry Uncle Moony?” Harry gestured wildly with the flower basket.

Benjy had given Marlene and Dorcas the present of agreeing to be their donor, and Lily had explained to the curious child that it meant that Marlene and Dorcas wanted to have children.

He wasn’t even sure if it meant that for now, Benjy was just a bit short of money after buying an apartment instead of renting one. But he knew that for Harry everything about weddings was interesting for now, because he was Marlene and Dorcas’ flower boy.

“I’m not sure, it’s not so easy, what with Moony’s furry little problem.”

“What? That rabbit is still alive? You should make sure it’s no Animagus! Constant Vigilance!” Mad Eye Moody interrupted them. Marlene’s and James’ boss had heard the rabbit stories James had invented to distract everyone from Remus’ lycanthropy.

“Oh, it’s Furry little problem the third. The grandson of Furry little problem the first.” James led Mad Eye away starting a new anecdote about rabbits that would get out of every cage and be jealous nuisances if Sirius spent too much time in Remus’ apartment, which was utter nonsense, as Remus actually lived in Sirius’ apartment with him.

But Harry knew very well that any question touching the topic of the Furry little problem had to be asked at home when only his parents, Sirius and Remus were present. He knew some people might be mean to Uncle Moony if they were aware of him having the moon sickness. And that if he kept silent about the moon sickness, it would show that he was a big boy.

Sirius knew that Harry would have a million questions later, and save lots of them for him to answer, as the boy was very well aware that nobody knew Uncle Moony as well as Uncle Padfoot.

And it made Sirius sad that he had to use Remus’ lycanthropy as an excuse for not marrying Remus. But even though marriage equality was a thing now in wizarding Britain (due to a trial Mad Eye and his now husband Elphias Doge had won by Elphias proving that even in the middle ages wizards could be wedded to wizards and witches to witches, that it had been only forgotten after people had started believing all the lies Cantankerous Nott had cooked up) and Sirius and Remus were very open about their relationship, Sirius was not able to marry Remus.

There was nothing he would want more than to be married to his boyfriend, but he could not marry him, not because Remus was Remus Lupin, but because he himself was Sirius Black.

“We come now to the throwing of the bridal bouquet,” Angus McKinnon, Marlene’s brother announced. “Please, all unmarried women and men, who want to get married next, get ready. Young nonbinaries who want to, are welcome, too.”

Sirius stayed sitting on his chair, watching the people line up, a fake look of boredom on his face. He had told most of his friends, marriage was just not punkrock enough.

Marlene faced him as she threw her bouquet behind herself. It changed direction in midair, like a boomerang, hit Sirius on the head and came to lie in his lap.

“Uncle Padfoot, now you MUST get married. Don’t be afraid of picking the wrong engagement ring. Uncle Moony will love it because it’s from you.” Harry sounded compassionate, but simultaneously a bit smug.

Sirius ruffled the boy’s tousled hair and chuckled. “You’re the essence of a little junior Marauder, aren’t you?”


	2. A Painful Memory

“Padfoot, what the fuck? You love him. You want to grow old with him. Why the fuck do you tell him that you won’t marry him? Not punkrock enough? Have you gone mad?” James had grabbed Sirius’ wrist with a vice-like grip as he had left the loo. “Moony may not have the self-confidence to propose to you, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t break his heart if you don’t commit.”

“He knows that I love him. He knows that I’m intending to stay with him for the rest of my life. But all this putting on a soppy show, throwing a party at which everyone watches when we leave to shag, what for? I decide every morning that Remus is still the love of my life, and I prefer when people don’t know that we’re leaving a party to shag.” Sirius glared at James, but he felt too weak to yank his arm free.

“Firstly, how dare you say that you won’t marry him because of his Lycanthropy. What if he had overheard it, or if someone tells him? Secondly, how dare you tell me you consider marriage too soppy after the way you committed to planning both our wedding and that of Marlene and Dorcas. If you weren’t a damn good and happy cursebreaker, you would probably be a professional wedding planner. So, don’t tell me all that bullshit of weddings not being punkrock.” James whisper-yelled as he pushed Sirius further away from the wedding guests.

“Remus knows the truth. But it’s not your business, Prongs.” Sirius hissed.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Even if you told Remus the reason and he said it’s okay, it definitely isn’t. He had this sad look in his eyes all day today, don’t think Lils and I don’t notice that. After that thing you did with Snivellus, you promised me never to hurt Remus again.” He squeezed Sirius’ wrist painfully.

“Okay, shut the fuck up and hold on tight.” Sirius did his best to concentrate and Apparated them to his study. “Prongs, are you okay and complete?”

“Yes, you’re lucky, wanker.” James scowled at Sirius, who by now seemed to disappear headfirst in a big cabinet. “Can you explain to me why you drag me away from the party to dig in your study furniture.”

“Because you won’t shut your fucking mouth if I don’t show you a certain memory.” Sirius got up and carried his Pensieve to his desk. Then he took the memory he felt the need to show James. They were almost brothers; he knew that James would never shut up unless he knew the reason. And he knew how hard it was for him to speak about it. It was worse than all his parents had done to him, because all his parents had done, he had been able to get away from, but for all the efforts he had made, he had never gotten closer to a solution of this problem.

As James watched the memory, Sirius went into the kitchen and chewed cloves in order to not self-harm. This was one of his two worst memories James was looking at, the other being the Snape incident.

  


**

James found himself in a stuffy dark corridor in what was obviously the home of a pureblood family. He knew, that it wasn’t Grimmauld Place, because he had been there once with some fellow Aurors to help Regulus pick his things when he had finally left, too.

A young woman with wild curls dragged a teenage boy by the collar across the corridor and yelled at him. “Two years ago you get sorted into Gryffindor, and now I tutor Barty and hear that you went to the Yule ball with a mudblood called McKinnon? How dare you?”

“M-mother already punished me for it.” The boy lifted his head, and James gasped. It was Sirius, but his posture, had nothing of the elegance Sirius had always had. Instead he looked battered. His left eye was bruised and from the way he dragged his leg, James was sure that under the robes there were a lot more injuries. Furthermore, he was wearing stuffy, ugly dressrobes. “And – and we just danced as Headmaster Dumbledore told us to.”

“Your parents are too soft on you. A proper pureblood wizard refuses to dance with a mudblood. He asks his parents what pureblood witch to go to a dance with. Be grateful that you’re a child, so, I’ll give you one last chance to repent from your blood traitor ways. After an appropriate punishment, ickle cousin.” She laughed, and had suddenly her wand in her hand. “Crucio!”

James flinched as Sirius lay on the floor convulsing with pain. He hated Pensieve memories with a passion. Having to see a younger version of Sirius suffer like that and not being able to do anything, and being quite sure that something worse was to come.

Meanwhile Sirius was coming to, and the woman was leaning over him, her wand pointed at his throat. Fuck! It was against all his Auror instincts to just watch, but he knew this wasn’t now. He would just cast through the woman, and the Incarcerus would bounce off the wall and tie him up, as he had seen happen to his fellow Auror trainee Derek O’Connell. Back then, James had laughed at it, but now he struggled against the impulse to duel this woman.

She laughed, a terrible, mad laugh. “Ickle Sirikins, I’ll help you, so you’ll always remember what you’re supposed to do. If there isn’t a Pureblood bride at your wedding, you’ll die before the marriage can be consummated. Maledictio conditionalis fieri facio!” She waved her wand in a pattern that James recognized as a very dark conditional curse.

He resurfaced from the Pensieve, clenching his fists with anger. “Who was that woman?”

“My cousin Bellatrix.” Sirius rubbed his face and continued his pacing. James knew that if Sirius rubbed his face in his human form for no obvious reason, he was so nervous and distressed he resorted to his dog gestures. And this indicated that at the moment he could hardly bear his human form.

“Pads, okay, sorry that I was a dick about you refusing to marry Remus.” He hugged Sirius, and Sirius started sobbing on his shoulder.

“I – I tried – everything. Becoming a – cursebreaker, - researching my - arse off, but - there’s – no breaking this curse. If I trigger it I’ll die.”

James rubbed circles on Sirius’ back. “Does Remus know?”

“I showed him the memory, too. Of course, he’s sad, but I can’t do anything. I can marry a Pureblood bride, or I can stay unmarried.”

“What about the Prewett phenomenon?” James vaguely remembered something he had heard in Auror training.

“Actually, the Prewett phenomenon is just finding a loophole in a Conditionalis curse. And what loophole would there possibly be? I either marry a pureblood bride, or I stay unmarried, if I don’t want to die. Can you leave me here and ask Remus to come home? I think I need him here now.” Sirius curled up in a ball on the sofa, covered himself with a blanket and transformed into his dog form.

James didn’t leave Sirius alone. He conjured his Patronus and sent it to Remus with the message that Sirius was at home and not feeling well.


	3. The Collar

“Hey, Baby, what’s the matter?” Remus ran his fingers through Padfoot’s shaggy fur. He smelled of wine, worry, and affection.

Padfoot whined and nuzzled Remus’ thigh.

“You Apparate out with James, then he sends his Patronus and you lie here like a sick puppy. Maybe you should transform back, so we can talk.” As usual, Remus was the voice of reason when Sirius had a meltdown. The tenderest voice of reason that had ever existed, although, he surely wasn’t always tender. And always tender was in no way what Sirius wanted. He liked the occasional rough sex and Remus being in charge too much. But Remus was tender when Sirius needed it. He also had even more understanding of when Sirius needed it rough and when he needed it tender than Sirius did himself.

Padfoot gave a whine. His human form felt like pain and sadness and loss. He didn’t want to transform back. He wanted to curl up and have Remus give him belly rubs until he would fall asleep.

“So bad? C’mon, Pads, if you don’t want to talk, I have another idea what we can do that will make you feel better, but you need to be in your human form.”

Padfoot perked up. In his dog form he wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but he knew that his human form would most certainly know, and he had the feeling that his human form was quite eager for what that meant. Human Sirius took up more and more space inside until the body also changed form, and Sirius was sprawled on his back with Remus’ hand on his stomach.

“Baby, just one question. Was it about the Curse?” Remus rubbed circles on Sirius’ stomach.

“Yes. Prongs forced me to show him the memory.”

“I can’t say seeing our friends get married and knowing we won’t doesn’t make me sad, but a living boyfriend is by far better than a dead husband.”

“I don’t want to think about all this. You know even without us being married that I’m all yours.” Sirius removed his tie and opened some of his shirt buttons revealing his collar underneath it.

“You’ve been wearing it while you walked Dorcas down the aisle?” With Dorcas’ father being the homophobe he was, and her mother being dead, she had asked Sirius.

“Of course. I needed to feel that Bellatrix can’t prevent me from being yours.” Sirius exclaimed determinedly.

“Yes, you’re mine, all mine.” Remus Apparated them into their bed, then pulled the shirt out of the trousers and slipped his hand underneath it. Originally, Remus had bought the collar because it was risky to be caught without a collar and tag. He was not going to obliviate the staff of an animal shelter, if a simple collar could avoid the risk of it.

“Please, can we shag? I don’t want to think of all this bullshit right now. And that’s the only way I think I can forget about it for now.” Sirius fidgeted. He just hoped Remus wouldn’t want to talk about the whole disaster; he knew that he couldn’t escape endless discussing it with James in the near future.

“Of course, what do you need? Sweet or savoury?” Remus’ thumb moved in a circle around Sirius’ navel.

“Chocolate pretzels.” Sirius banished his shirt and enjoyed Remus’ hands on his body. This was exactly what he needed. They would always talk about shagging in terms of snacks. Savoury flavours were for more kinky things, sweet flavours for cuddly sex.

“Be a good puppy and give me your tie.” Remus’ voice had this powerful but soft tone that never failed to turn Sirius on. He grabbed the tie and handed it to Remus. Would he tie his hands with it?

“Bombyx ligatura!” The tie turned into a silken blindfold. Remus tied it around Sirius’ head. His fingertips moved softly across Sirius’ cheeks splayed between where the blindfold ended and the jawbone. Then, one finger returned to trace Sirius’ lips. “My beautiful puppy. I love you.” The fingers moved down over his neck to his chest. They traced the moon phase tattoos on his collarbones. “So good for me, Pads.”

Sirius knew, Remus would tell him what to do, edge him until he would beg for release, but do all of it in a tender way with lots of cuddles. Another time Remus would need the same thing from him. And they would give each other what the other one needed.


	4. Lily's Intervention

The next morning, Sirius woke up at ten. Remus was already awake, and Sirius heard him pottering around in the kitchen. He shrugged on his bathrobe and stepped into the hall.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, Remus just wanted to go and kiss you good morning.” Lily’s voice made him startle.

“Lils, it’s too early… I didn’t sleep before four am.” He stood in the bathroom doorway. Lily never just sat in their sitting room before noon unless to stage an intervention. And he wasn’t ready to convince someone of the impossibility of getting married again.

“Neither did Remus, and he’s been awake for two hours already.” She retorted in a stern tone that she had probably learned from Professor McGonagall.

“Have you been here for two hours?” 

Lily smiled at him. “Just for one, but when I firecalled, Remus told me to step through. And he told me that he had been awake for an hour already.” 

Sirius furrowed his brow, Remus needed his sleep. A well-rested Remus could cope so much better with the strain of the next full moon.

“Lils, just give me a few minutes.” He slipped into the bathroom and had a shower. If he had to endure a Lily-Evans-Potter intervention, he wanted to at least feel physically fresh and well-groomed first.

  
When he came back to the sitting room, he saw his breakfast; croissants with marmalade, on the table.

Lily beckoned him to the table, where she sat without food, but with a cup of tea. “James told me about the curse. And I wanted to apologize for encouraging him to yell at you yesterday.”

“It’s alright, it’s not like you people knew it. I never told him about it, although it was the main reason why I became a curse breaker.” Sirius rubbed his face.

“I thought so. But this curse must be breakable somehow. I can’t imagine anything made by a human being to be completely insurmountable. There must be a way.” The eagerness in her tone reminded Sirius of Harry when he insisted on not leaving the playground before his friends had to leave, too.

“The memory is still in the Pensieve, take a look and tell me if you have an idea how I can turn Remus into a pureblood woman. Because a Conditionalis can only either be broken by the caster or by the caster’s heir after the caster’s death. Otherwise, the only possibility is to find a loophole where the curse doesn’t apply. Good luck.” Sirius muttered, while shredding his croissant instead of eating it.

“You sound like Eeyore.” Lily looked around. “Where’s the Pensieve?”

“In my study.”

Lily left the room.

  
“She didn’t say you need to marry a pureblood bride. She said there has to be one at your wedding. If you did a double wedding with Alexander Boot and Grace Shacklebolt,…” Lily’s voice interrupted Sirius’ solving of the extra difficult crossword puzzle that helped him keep from storming off or doing something his mindhealer would not like to hear of.

“Doesn’t work. Magically, a double wedding counts as two separate weddings. Thanks for trying. But if we can’t turn Remus into a pureblood bride, we can forget about it.” Sirius craved a cigarette and a whole bottle of firewhiskey. But he had quit smoking because passive smoking made Remus’ transformations more painful; and after the Snape incident at which he had been drunk, the sane part of his mind didn’t want to drink alcohol. His fidgeting fingers touched the knotted bracelet his mindhealer Lysandra Lovegood had given him to remind him of his skills in moments when his trauma might overwhelm him. Skills. What can keep me from making unhealthy decisions? He summoned the horseradish and an espresso spoon and put a spoonful of the spice into his mouth. The cold burn of it made his nose run and his eyes water, and he cast a tissue charm on himself.

“It triggers you, doesn’t it?” Lily stepped closer to him and put a hand on his arm.

“It triggers the fucking shit out of me!” Sirius shouted. Don’t shout at your friends when they want to help! “Sorry, Lils, it just hurts all over again every time I talk about it.”

“I’m sure you have books about Conditionalis curses? Can I borrow one or two of them?” Lily changed the topic.

“In my study, second shelf, third board. Maybe you start with ‘Forced Compliance. How To Survive The Conditionalis Curse’ by Reginald Abbott.” Sirius tried his best to speak calmly.

Lily left the room for the study.


	5. Lily vs. Conditionalis

Two days later, Lily Flooed over to the small office Sirius had rented for himself and Regulus from Florean Fortescue.

“Hi, Reg, is Sirius here?” She vanished the soot off her cerulean blue dress and placed a cake on the table in front of Regulus.

“Sorry, he’s on a job. Can I help you, Lily?” Regulus gave her a smile, got up and offered her a seat.

“Is he coming back soon? I wanted to discuss something with him.” She Accioed two plates and put a piece of cake on each.

“It’ll probably take all day. They have a whole cursed ballroom. He’s wearing his Monitoring bracelet, and I’m on backup from here, but he’s been insufferable since Marls’ wedding.” Regulus took his piece of cake, a strawberry cake with a chocolate coffee bean on top, and Lily took the first bite of her apple pie.

“Then I’ll give the chocolate cake to Remus. They can share it as a dessert after dinner. Do you know about the curse?” She accepted a cup of tea from Regulus.

“I’m a Black. Bellatrix used to boast about it and threaten to curse me, too if I step out of line. She can’t do that anymore now, though. Being a cursebreaker gives you unique opportunities. Before I left, I cast a Reflectoris on her. If she ever dares curse me or put another curse on Sirius, anything that would befall one of us, will hit her with the same force as well.” He took a sip of his tea. “But it doesn’t help against curses that have been made before the Reflectoris.”

“And do you have any idea of a loophole in the curse? I have read two books on the Conditionalis, but I’m no cursebreaker. And I don’t want Sirius to risk his life. But he and Remus should have a chance to get married. And I believe everything people make can be defeated somehow.” She let the beads of her bracelet run through her fingers like a rosary.

“I haven’t found any loophole. A pureblood and a bride may be a social construct, but the magic recognizes the terms. And neither applies to Remus. He’s a halfblood, and while some men will be accepted by the magic as brides, as the case of Nereus Sullivan proves who had been accepted by magic as the bride of Reginald O’Dell in 1761. There is a test. We don’t know what the effect is caused by, but some wizards’ magic has strong female elements. We tested Remus’ magic, even though we wouldn’t have a solution for how to make magic accept him as pureblood. But he is as masculine as they–“ An alarm went off.

Sirius’ voice sounded over the noise. “Reg, I need you to help. You can Apparate in.”

Lily watched Regulus Disapparate. Then she went back home. This curse was more stubborn than the Wizengamot. But she was determined to find the loophole in this curse. Sirius had been there for her when Petunia had called her a freak and told her she didn’t consider her family – over their mother’s grave. Back then, James had been there, too. But Sirius had known exactly how she felt. He had sat with Lily all night and listened, while James, suffering from the flu, had dozed with his head on her lap. Sirius had told her that Petunia may be a blood relative, but the real family a person has are the people who care about them.

  
She was on holiday, and the next morning, she Flooed Harry to his best friend Ron; the Weasleys always loved having him over, especially as she had helped Arthur get the raise in pay that the Ministry had tried to deny him with flimsy excuses. Harry would stay overnight with the Weasleys, and Lily and James had tickets for a musical.

But before that, she firecalled Professor McGonagall during her office hour.

“Ms. Evans, what a beautiful surprise! How are you and your family? Would you like to step through for a cuppa?”

Lily stepped through. “Thank you, Professor. James and Harry are fine, James is going to coach Little League Quidditch, and Harry is looking forward to learning his first tricks on the broom. But we are worried about Sirius and Remus.”

Professor McGonagall poured Lily a cup of Earl Grey. “Milk? Sugar?”

“No, thank you, I prefer my tea plain.” Lily smiled.

“So, I hope Sirius and Remus don’t have a crisis in their relationship? I must admit, I would like to dance with Poppy at their wedding.” The professor put a lump of sugar into her tea.

“They are as good for each other as always, but Sirius was cursed as a teenager. He can’t get married and live if we don’t find a loophole in the curse. I thought you might be able to give me some advice how magic ‘sees’ gender and blood status.” Lily fidgeted with her bracelet.

Professor McGonagall took a few deep breaths before answering, as she would always do whenever it was mentioned how Sirius’ family had treated him. Lily was sure if the Potters hadn’t adopted him, the Professor would have done so herself. “Gender and bloodstatus? You imply that he will suffer the consequences if he doesn’t marry a pureblood bride or remain unmarried? Godric! The poor boy has atrocious parents!”

“And an atrocious cousin. I’m talking about Bellatrix Lestrange. She cursed him. And it’s not just suffering the consequences. If there’s no pureblood bride at his wedding, he’ll die before the marriage can be consummated.”

“That fucking piece of shit!” McGonagall exclaimed. She took a few deep breaths again. “Alas, I can’t give you much to work with, as Mr. Lupin’s head of house, I had to know his medical stats and his magic is as masculine as they go; not reaching into the androgynous or feminine range. Maybe if he’s glamoured of polyjuiced? You should have a talk with Professor Flitwick and Professor Slughorn. They might have an idea. Mr. Black’s magic range however…”

A knock at the door interrupted her. “Come in.”

“Minerva, I’ll come over later, I didn’t know you have a guest and I wanted to discuss one of your Gryffindors.” Professor Flitwick adjusted his glasses.

“Filius, do you have a few minutes? We wanted to ask your advice, so Mr. Black can finally marry Mr. Lupin.”


	6. Sometimes the Deuces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song _I Am What I Am_ from the Musical _La Cage Aux Folles._

“Lils, do you really think it will help Sirius and Remus more if you stay engrossed in reading books instead of our date night? Remember, they gave us the tickets for our anniversary.” James was already dressed in his most elegant suit and looking his best.

“You’re right, but you know how I am when I’m on a case. And especially if the case is defeating Blood purism.” Lily slowly got up, changed into her evening dress and applied a little perfume. “So, let’s go.”

She was not someone who applied makeup more than once in a day; instead she constantly used the charm Alice had taught her to keep makeup neat all day. Also, frequently somebody would ask to borrow her eyeliners, and she would end up telling them to keep it as they used more of it than she would.

  
The musical was fabulous, although Lily couldn’t really get her mind off Sirius and Remus and the curse. It was “La Cage Aux Folles.”

As they were leaving the theatre, someone shouted from behind: “James, Lily!”

She turned. “Andi, Ted, I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you?”

“Great. Andi has developed a new line of dolls with a metamorph charm on them. Because Nym would always complain about the dolls not being able to change. They will be on the market for Christmas.” Ted gave his wife a proud look. Together they had founded a toy firm that had a shop in Diagon Alley.

“I’m already thinking of a second generation of the Meta doll. This musical gave me an idea; Meta should be able to change their gender as the kids would like them to be. I remember when Sirius was a child, we would sometimes babysit Sirius. Whenever Bella was around he was silent because she would punish him for saying such things, but whenever she wasn’t he would sometimes ask to be allowed to try on Cissy’s clothes. Of course, they were too big, but he loved them.”

There has to be a pureblood bride… there has to be… not ‘you have to get married to’. Could the magic be convinced to accept Sirius as the bride? Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey had both said that Sirius’ magic was androgynous, its range reaching rather far into the feminine scale. “Please, could you tell me more? It might help Sirius a lot if we know more about it.”

“He would ask ‘If Father is sometimes a business man and sometimes a school governor, why can’t I be sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl?’ One day, Aunt Walburga caught him wearing Cissy’s shoes, only the shoes, if I remember well. She beat Cissy, crucioed Sirius and cast a memory charm making him forget he had ever worn girls’ clothes or thought of being a girl. She wanted to obliviate us, too, but Father didn’t allow it. We really come from a fucked-up family.” Andi shrugged the way one shrugs when one has resigned themself to an awful fact.

  


**

“And I’m glad you left that family behind. You, Sirius and Regulus.” James interjected.

“I just wish Cissy hadn’t married that horrible Lucius, but left this shitty family, too. She’s not as evil as our parents, Sirius’ parents and Bella. I wish she could raise her boy in a better environment. If I calculate well, he might be as old as your Harry. It’s a shame we know about him only from a birth announcement in the Daily Prophet.” Andromeda sighed.

“If your sister doesn’t tell her husband that I’m the coach, he might be on the Little League Quidditch team.” James grinned remembering how both boys had originally wanted to be seekers, then agreed that lf there couldn’t be two seekers in one team, they would take turns with the other being a chaser. Harry had managed to integrate Draco into the team, and make even him and Ron stop glaring at each other. He had put an arm around Draco and one around Ron, and said, “Ron is my best Gobstones friend and Draco is my best Dragon game friend. You are both my best friends.”

  
As they got home, Lily picked the book on gender and magical cores and started reading. James tried to persuade her to go to bed and continue in the morning, as there was no danger if they waited and slept at night. He tried to lure her away from the book with sex, but she just snapped “You can shag me all you want when I’ve found out if this can work and have talked about it to Sirius.”

“Okay, Lils, one hour and then you really should sleep.”


	7. Why Is My Reflection Someone I Don't Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is a line from the song "Reflection" from the Disney movie Mulan and the described picture is by Keith Haring.

Sirius stood in front of his wardrobe and glared at his clothes. It was one of those days. His clothes felt like they were made for somebody else; no matter how cool they were, he would prefer to see them on Remus. He had an intense feeling of wrongness that made him want to transform and cuddle up in his dog form, although he did want to go to the Potters' and enjoy that he had broken all the curses in the ballroom yesterday. In his dog form he never experienced this feeling of wrongness. Padfoot was him every single day, while this body he saw in the mirror and his clothes sometimes felt like it had to be someone else.

He had no idea what was wrong with him and why he had those feelings. Of course, that was him, who else would it be? It wasn’t Reg, and even less anybody else. What was wrong with him? This feeling was something he couldn’t even tell his mindhealer. 

“Baby, is it one of those days?” Remus’ voice was soft, and Sirius thanked his fate that he had such an understanding, loving boyfriend. Remus seemed to notice his feelings of wrongness as soon as he entered the room, and never doubted Sirius’ sanity for it, as Sirius himself would always do.

Remus wrapped his arms around him, and Sirius leaned slightly back. “Yeah, every piece of clothing feels wrong. I wish I could be a dog and talk to them at the same time.” He let Remus lead him to the sofa and sat down with him, Sirius’ back against his chest. “Why do I always have those days when everything feels wrong, feels as if I were trapped in a stranger’s body? Did I inherit the Black madness?”

“No, baby. You didn’t,” Remus rubbed soothing circles on his shoulders. “Your birthgivers gave you trauma, not madness. And I think this is just your trauma showing its ugly face. Breathe. In and out, in and out,” only as Remus said it, Sirius noticed how shallow and laboured his breathing was - again. He did his best to take deep breaths.

Remus started humming a tune, rubbing up and down in the rhythm of deep breaths until Sirius’ breathing had calmed down. “Can you try again?”

“I think so. But it’s so difficult.” Sirius got up and trudged over to the wardrobe.

“Okay, if nothing feels right, what feels least wrong?” Remus hugged Sirius from behind, and Sirius leaned back.

After twenty more minutes of inner debate, Sirius picked a pair of jeans and a purple silken shirt. It looked slightly extravagant, Peter had called it almost a blouse. But Peter was a complete idiot, who had left his cigarettes on the couch table all the time when Harry was just a year old, and no matter how much they talked about how dangerous that was for Harry, he would do it again and be annoyed if they asked him not to, until they all had told Peter to leave and not come back.

He put on his chucks, and they Flooed over to the Potters'.

  
Lily looked tired, but she seemed to buzz with energy. Sirius had not seen her like that since she had won the case against Atticus Nott who wanted to have the right to annul his daughter’s marriage to a Muggleborn.

“Sirius, I’m glad you’re here. I have a surprise for you. Also, I want us to visit Hestia in her work.” She smiled at him as if she had an expensive present for him. He felt slightly weirded out.

“You do know that Hestia is a mindhealer whose specialty is to treat cases of curses, accidental bonds and obliviations?” Sirius protested.

“Curses, exactly. She might know something that helps you overcome the curse.” Lily sounded so confident, and Sirius felt weak. What did it cost to have peace and quiet instead of people trying the most far-fetched things to free him from his curse?

“Bellatrix didn’t fuck up my mind but my ability to marry someone who is not a pureblood woman. Also, you do know that I have a mindhealer already?” Sirius tugged at his shirt sleeves.

“I know, Sirius, but your magic is influenced by your mind. Maybe talking to a mind healer can loosen a thread of the curse.” Lily’s voice had this McGonagall tone.

_She’s grabbing every straw. I guess that’s some kind of Muggle superstition that a psylochoger, no, psy-psychologiatrist, no, fuck! A Muggle mindhealer can solve every problem._ “Prongs.” _Bloody hell, why does my voice sound so whiny._

“Sirius, I agree with her that we have to try everything. A part of Hestia’s study was bond lore. Perhaps she knows about a kind of bond that the curse doesn’t apply to, a different magical rite.” James stared into Sirius’ eyes, in a completely unnatural way. Sirius was quite sure that his best friend was not telling the truth, but why would he lie. The whole matter was weird.

“James, what did I splinch when I fled from my parents’ house?” Please, don’t be polyjuiced impostors.

“Your left eyebrow and your armpit hair.”

_His eyes are clear; no sign of the Imperius._ Sirius knew what somebody’s eyes under the Imperius looked like. His parents had once imperiused Regulus to beat him up.

Sirius decided that probably the only way to find out what she was up to was to follow Lily and to keep his wand at hand in case anything was wrong.

  
Hestia’s office was a cheerful room with walls in a sunny yellow. Simplistic Muggle pictures of people putting an arm around each other and having a heart over their heads or dancing were hanging on the walls. Sirius paused a moment when he noticed that both people on the picture with the heart above the two people looked like blokes. Was this painter gay? He could easily imagine the two men being himself and Remus. And the dancing people – they came in all sorts of colours. It had a calm serenity about it that he hardly ever found in magical pictures. He would have to ask Hestia about the artist.

“Would you like a cup of tea, Sirius?” Hestia interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes, please.” The room and Hestia had something reassuring. And Sirius felt a bit dehydrated.

She put an elegant cup in front of him. “Lily told me that your cousin cursed you and that your mother abused you for not fitting in with her idea of a pureblood man?”

“That’s true. I wish I could marry Remus, but Bellatrix cursed me. I’ll die if there isn’t a pureblood bride.” He didn’t dare pick up his cup even though he would love a sip from his tea. His hands would shake too much.

“Can I run some diagnostics on the range of your magic and how the curse might influence it?” Hestia asked tentatively.

“If you think that will help?” Sirius didn’t expect anything from it, but this also didn’t sound like Lily and Hestia were going to do anything that might harm him or Remus.

“Don’t worry, I won’t use Legilimency. That’s too invasive. I will run a scan of your magic and ask you to fill a questionnaire. Also, I would like to see your memory of the curse.”

“Yes, yes, yes, turn my memory into a fucking screenplay if you want to,” Sirius growled, but then added: “Sorry. Go ahead and scan. I’m just tired of being reminded of that day again and again.”

Hestia traced an intricate pattern with her wand mumbling under her breath. Pink, white, purple, black and blue tendrils seemed to float in the air, following the wand movements and resorting themselves in a kind of braid.

“Oh, shit. You were partly obliviated at some time against your will, and the consequence is a reduced Serotonin production. Do you sometimes feel like things are completely and utterly wrong?” Hestia put her wand down and touched his shoulder softly.

“I often feel wrong when I get dressed, like all my clothes would suit Remus better than me. On other days, I feel like the same clothes are right for me. Today is one of the wrong days. I feel like even my body is wrong for me.”


	8. Moppet

Three days had passed, and Sirius sat in Hestia’s office again with Lily and James. Hestia had given him time to make up his mind about whether to take the Draught of Memory Lane. There were risks like reliving a traumatic memory, and it was definitely contraindicated to spend the 48 hours after taking the Draught of Memory Lane alone. As Remus had to visit his mother in hospital, after a surgery, and Sirius wasn’t allowed to see Hope at the Muggle intensive care ward anyway, James and Lily had volunteered to be there for Sirius.

Hestia handed him a steaming silver goblet with a slightly glittering pastel green liquid with the consistence of vegetable oil. “Drink it in small sips. Don’t underestimate how slowly it travels down the oesophagus.”

Despite the steam, the potion felt merely lukewarm in his mouth. It tasted bitter and salty but left an aftertaste of rosemary and mint.

It would take some time for the memory to return. Hestia led him into another room and asked him to lie down on a sofa for half an hour. James and Lily sat down at a table in the same room, and played Charmed Scrabble, a game Lily had developed during her pregnancy.

  
_He was in the house of Uncle Cygnus in Goldhawk Road. Cousin Cissy ran down the stairs to greet him. “Moppet! Do you want to see my birthday presents? I got one Purity Doll, too, but the rest is fun.”_

_ She took him by the hand and pulled him up the stairs into the room she shared with Andromeda. He was excited for what she was going to show him. She always got beautiful things for her birthdays. Story books about unicorns and kneazels, not about how Lord Nott wrote who is and isn’t truly pureblood or Battle of West Chester action figures that would kill goblins._

_ The memory faded into his mother’s voice “CRUCIO!” and then into Bellatrix’ mocking voice “Ickle Sirikins!”_

James hugged him and Lily knocked on Hestia’s door, so she would interrupt her paperwork.

“You remember something, Sirius?” Hestia pushed her blond hair out of her face.

“I was six years old and at my youngest cousin’s tenth birthday party. She wanted to show me her birthday presents. She called me ‘Moppet.’ I don’t know what happened after that? But my oldest cousin mocked me and my mother crucioed me.” Sirius rubbed his face. He felt confused. He had expected to remember all of it.

“Sometimes the memory returns gradually. You should go for a walk with James and Lily and see if something helps you to bring back the memory.” She placed a rubber seal, the type to seal a kilner jar, into his hand. “If you panic or spiral, this is a Portkey that can take you to my office if I’m still around, and if not it will take you to an on-duty Squib at the Soho crisis support centre. But don’t go alone, as there might be a waiting time. If you get the impulse of trying something unusual, listen to James and Lily, and let them judge if it is safe. If it doesn’t mess with your safety, health or sobriety. I encourage you to experiment.”

  
They had walked through London for an hour and passed by lots of shop displays, when suddenly something caught his eye. He remembered the high-pitched voice of a two-year-old: _“Sia pwetty gal! Sia pwetty!”_

There in the display of a bridal boutique was a pink bridesmaid dress, a somewhat more modern version, but similar…

  
_Cissy showed him two new, beautiful dresses and a necklace, which weren’t like the other gifts on the table in her room, but in her wardrobe. And there on the side was a pink dress, as pink as the petals of the cherry tree behind the house. He had to touch it, it was beautiful. Why wasn’t he allowed to be sometimes a girl? Father was sometimes a business man and sometimes a school governor. Why did Sirius have to be always a boy if his father didn’t have to be always one thing? “Cissy, can I wear it?” He clapped his hand in front of his mouth. But Narcissa smiled at him. “Sure, Moppet. It’s too small for me anyway.”_

_ “I’ll stand outside and if Mother, Aunt Burga or Bella come, I’ll distract them,” Andi promised._

_ Sirius got out of his trousers and his waistcoat and shirt and Cissy helped him to put on the dress without tearing it. Then she braided his long hair, that would regrow every time Mother cut it short._

_ “You look pretty, Moppet. Look at you. Handsome as a boy and pretty as a girl.” Cissy led him to a long mirror, and he loved what he saw there. His long, braided hair, his dress, his face._

_ Sirius felt free playing boardgames with Cissy for two hours. At some time, Andromeda let little Milton Rosier into the room. Sirius kept stealing glances at his reflection, and whenever Cissy noticed it, she called him a pretty girl._

_ Milton became restless and left the room again. They heard him talk on the stairs. “Aunty wook, Sia pwetty gal!”_

_ Sirius had a sinking feeling. He got up and tried to take off the dress, but before the hooks at the back were open, his mother had barged into the room. “INCARCEROUS! CRUCIO!”_

  
His breath must have sped up, or James and Lily must have observed some other nonverbal sign. However, they both pulled him into a hug, and James asked him “Three things you see?”

“Your messy hair, your glasses, Lily’s bobby pin.” It took some effort to pull himself out of the memory into the here and now.

“Three things you hear?” James’ voice was steady like a rock Sirius could lean against and feel safer from the crashing tide of his emotions.

“The cars, … a bird song, … your voice.” It got a little bit easier.

“Three things you feel?” Lily took over.

“Your hair, of you both is tickling my neck, … the sun is warm, … the carved dog.” Sirius always carried a dog Remus had carved with himself.

“Three things you smell?” Lily asked now.

“Coffee, Lily’s perfume, cars.” It got easier to breathe.

“Do you feel better?” James asked.

“Yes. Thank you.” Sirius looked at the shop window again. A bridal dress caught his eye.

“When I was six years old, Mother caught me wearing one of Narcissa’s dresses. She crucioed me. It had felt good to wear the dress. Sometimes I just can’t love my masculine clothes.” His voice was shaky. How would James and Lily react?

“Pads, there’s nothing wrong with you wearing dresses if it feels right for you. In fact, you would tell your ancestors 'fuck you' with it.” James gave him a smile. “And we, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, Lily, Harry and I will be proud of you, no matter how you present. The more you are yourself, the prouder we are of you.”


	9. Rebel Rebel Put On Your Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song Rebel Rebel by David Bowie.

A month had passed. Sirius had had lots of talks with Hestia, James and Lily about what this memory meant. Hestia had given him lots of books to read, and he had learned that gender was not just a black and white, man and woman matter, but a spectrum. There were some people being one although their body seemed to indicate they were something else, some people were neither nor, and some people oscillated between the genders. Muggles had terms for that. He now had a name for why sometimes all of his clothes felt wrong, but other times he felt completely happy in them. He wasn’t weird, he was genderfluid.

But he had not discussed it with Remus. He had even glamoured his books. How did one tell one’s significant other such a thing? Hey, Remus, I’m a she half the time? Yes, I have a cock but I’m still a she today? What if Remus would just suspect him of having smoked gillyweed or being affected by a mind-addling curse?

And he kept thinking of the bridal dress, imagining himself wearing it, walking down the aisle being led by Monty. But Monty and Effie were dead. He imagined himself being led down the aisle in the white dress by Professor McGonagall. But could he do that?

  
“Do you still love me, Sirius?” Remus rounded in on him. The hazel-eyed man’s voice sounded distressed. “You hide what you read all the time, you daydream and don’t pay attention. You didn’t even tell me what the appointments with Hestia are about. I’m afraid of losing you.” He paced the floor in the sitting room.

“Of course, I love you, Moons. But I’m afraid I might lose you if I tell you.” _Bloody hell!_ His squeaky voice made him cringe.

“If you can’t be honest with me, you will lose me.” Remus couldn’t stand when Sirius closed down. He had closed down before the Snape incident and taken to drinking too much.

“I’m sorry, Moons. I didn’t want to shut you out. I just didn’t want to shock you with something before I was sure of it. It’s – I – You know when all my clothes feel wrong and I freak out in front of my wardrobe.” Sirius curled up in a ball on the sofa.

“Er, yes? What does that have to do with your withdrawing from me?” Remus prodded.

“I – you remember the obliviated memory? Mother caught me wearing a dress and crucioed me. I – could you still love me if I were sometimes very feminine? Like being a she on some days, and a he on others, or a they every day?” Sirius almost whispered the last sentence.

Remus’ voice softened. He came closer and sat down next to Sirius. “Are you still the person who is with me every full moon? Who knows exactly how to make me feel better when the wolf is close to the surface?”

“Of course. Nothing could change my wanting to be there for you.” Sirius looked up into Remus’ eyes.

“Do you still love me?” Remus asked.

“I do. You know I do.” His love for Remus was the thing he was surer of than his own name.

“Me sometimes being a human and sometimes a ferocious wolf doesn’t change your love for me?” Remus now wrapped himself around Sirius in a hug.

“The human being and the wolf are both my Moony.” Sirius leaned into the hug.

“So, you can trust me that man, woman, androgynous person, dog … You are always my Padfoot. Also, do you remember, when you told us you weren’t attracted to girls in sixth year, when James brought those porn magazines, and James, Pete and I tested what attracted us theoretically? I found both men and women theoretically hot. And practically, you are the only one I want to shag, spend every day of my life with, grow old with.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Sirius whispered. He repositioned himself, so he could nuzzle Remus’ neck.

  
“Reg, I need your advice.” Sirius said just after Apparating into the cursebreaker office after the job of the day, about two months after coming out to Remus.

“What happened to ‘I’m the older sibling and had my shit together first?’” Regulus joked.

“Died when you followed in my footsteps and instead of berating me for my clothes style got the Rosemallow and I’m-bi-rune tattoo. You left the bigotry behind.” Sirius grinned at him.

“Okay, what is it?” Regulus gave Sirius a curious look.

“Do you think I could be Remus’ bride? I mean, as a pureblood, and with my magic having a wide range between masculine and feminine, if I delve in the feminine aspects of it?” 

Sirius had not come out to Regulus as genderfluid yet. “I think your self-image would play an important role, too. I mean, before you could transform into Padfoot you had to know what kind of dog you were in your Animagus form. To delve into your inner woman, you have to know her.” Regulus spoke slowly and pensively. “Wait – your inner woman, that’s more than a drag persona, isn’t it? Although, you also don’t seem to want to stop being a man?”

“I’m genderfluid. Sometimes I feel like a he, sometimes like a she, that’s what’s going on inside me when all my clothes feel wrong. Then sometimes both seems to fit, or none.” Sirius explained.

“So, a lot of time we misgender you? But how do we avoid it?” Regulus gave Sirius a curious look.

“Well, some nonbinary and genderfluid people use the pronoun ‘they’ – could you…?” Sirius said tentatively.

“Give me some time to get used to it, I might slip up and call you he by habit, but I’ll do my best. And yes, I’m quite sure you can be Remus’ pureblood bride.” Regulus hugged them.

  
In the evening, Remus and Sirius visited the Potters and when nobody noticed it, Sirius asked Harry to distract Remus a bit because they wanted to prepare a surprise for Remus.

Then, when Harry pulled Remus into his room to show him his new learn-to-read charmed book, Sirius whispered to James and Lily: “I want to try on the bridal dress from the shop. Reg is sure, too that it will work if I’m the pureblood bride.”

“That’s brilliant, Pads,” James exclaimed entirely too loud, and Lily shushed him. “Will it compromise your bridal status if you propose to him?”

“Bloody hell! I don’t know. But I wanted to talk to Minnie anyway, so I could ask her that. I want her to walk me down the aisle. Lils, I want you to be my Matron of Honor, and can you go to the bridal boutique with me?” Sirius wiggled in their place with excitement.

“Pads, I’ll manage to convince Remus to propose to you. Hope has told me to influence him to propose to you with her engagement ring. And we will find a solution for the wedding rings, too.” James put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder.

  
The next day, James and Harry picked Remus from his work, while Lily and Sirius went to the Bridal Boutique. Lily cast a slight glamour on Sirius, so the shopkeeper didn’t notice the masculine body shape. The dress Sirius had looked at in the window fit well enough to be adaptable with a few tailoring charms to the front and the back, (thank Merlin it was tailored for a woman with very small breasts, but it still needed some changes) and Lily had already talked to Alice Longbottom, who was good at tailoring charms, to help them. The dress felt right, and Sirius had a feeling of joy and triumph, as they looked at their reflection in the mirror. They would get married to Remus. And they would live. Bellatrix wouldn’t be able to stop them.


	10. With My Undying Death-Defying Love for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from _ The Power of Love_ by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Remus waited at the altar, and it took him a lot of effort to keep still. What if they all were wrong? What if Sirius would die today?

“Moony, calm down. You act like I did when Lily had been in labour for seven hours and the healer worried.” James put a comforting hand on Remus’ shoulder.

“What if I lose Padfoot today? What if the magic doesn’t accept them as the bride?” Remus whisper-yelled back.

“You remember? We tested it with harmless things like hair colour changing hexes before you even agreed to propose to him. All will be well, Moons. Don’t let Reg be more Gryffindor than you are. As a Slytherin, he’s meant to be the careful one among us, not you.” James prattled on, and Remus considered the thought that maybe James was scared, too. It was true they had run every kind of test Sirius, Regulus, James, Lily, Minerva and Professor Flitwick had been able to come up with to verify that the magic did acknowledge a feminine Sirius as a she. Yet, the fear hadn’t left Remus. It had only become small enough for him to go through with marrying Sirius while being afraid.

Caradoc and Mary started playing the traditional song for the entrance of the bride, and then Regulus began singing in his smooth tenor the traditional words of the pureblood bride’s entrance hymn.

Then, Harry went ahead with the rings on a cushion, his friends Neville, Ron and Ginny followed with baskets of flowers, and then – Remus gasped at the beauty – Sirius in their long white dress with a veil and flowers in their hair on Minerva McGonagall’s arm. When Sirius stood beside him and the music stopped, Remus thought for a moment he heard a bug humming.

“Dear friends and family of Remus and Sirius, we have assembled today to join a man and his nonbinary bride in marriage…” Amelia Bones began the wedding rite. Remus lifted Sirius’ veil, and even though he had always considered Sirius gorgeous, today they seemed more beautiful, shining with bliss. Despite his worries, Remus felt his trousers get narrow.

“You look so beautiful,” he breathed, Amelia’s speech rushed past him, all he was aware of was Sirius.

“Remus.” He perked up. Amelia was addressing him. “Do you take Sirius Black as your spouse, to have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in health and in sickness till death do you part?”

“I do.” Remus noticed the blissful, soft look in Sirius’ face.

“Sirius, do you take Remus Lupin as your husband, to have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in health and in sickness till death do you part?”

“I do.” Sirius jubilated.

Amelia spoke the magical formula over the rings. They floated up like soap bubbles and landed on Sirius’ and Remus’ outstretched palms.

Remus took Sirius’ hand and lifted the ring he had for them up. “Sirius, when we met in first year, I thought friends and love were not for me because I was sick so often. I thought my life was about being alone and invisible, trying harder than anybody else and getting no results. And then you plunged yourself on my bed and asked question after question, you were the first face I would see every morning, even if I would wake up in the hospital wing, no matter how many detentions you would get for it. You came up with ideas to make me feel better, and even when you did stupid things, life with you always was better than it would have been without you. With this ring I take you as my wedded spouse, I promise you to always love you, to always take care of you, to respect and cherish you, as long as we both shall live.” He slipped the ring on Sirius’ elegant finger, then lifted their hand to his lips and kissed it.

Now, Sirius took Remus’ left hand, lifted the ring up and spoke. “Remus, I’ll forever be grateful for you. You love me despite the horrible family I came from, despite all the stupid things I did, especially as a teenager, you still love me when I’m at my worst. There has never been anyone even half as interesting, half as patient and kind, half as understanding as you. With this ring I take you as my wedded husband, I promise you to always love you, to always take care of you, to respect and cherish you, as long as we both shall live.” They slipped the ring on Remus’ finger, and then also kissed Remus’ hand.

Amelia cast a charm, and a ribbon tied itself around their hands, then dissolved into a rainbow that was drawn into the rings.

“You may now kiss the bride.” Amelia’s voice rang out.

Remus’ heart beat fast as he heard it. What if the magic didn’t accept Sirius as a bride?”

Sirius leaned in. “Don’t overthink,” he whispered. “Kiss me.”

Remus tried to lay all his love, all his longing to grow old with Sirius into the kiss.

  


**

As they were swaying on the dancefloor to Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s The Power of Love, Sirius lost their patience. “You can’t relax, can you? I won’t die. I’m here to grow old with you.”

“You know, losing you is my boggart. I’ll only be calm when you have survived this day.” Remus’ voice had the same frightened quality it had only had the day when he had told Sirius, James and Pete about his lycanthropy.

“You are overthinking. And you know what we do when you overthink too much.” Sirius spoke with a firm voice. They knew how to take care of an overthinking Remus.

“Uh-huh. But are you...” Remus said weakly.

“After this dance, we’ll go to our bedroom immediately. You know that she said before the marriage is consummated. You can calm down once we have shagged. I want you to enjoy our wedding day.” Sirius whispered into Remus’ ear, then licked at his neck.

They pulled him out of the ballroom, and sidealonged him into the bridal bedroom. “Take off your clothes. I want you naked now.”

Remus obeyed. Then Sirius waved their wand in a pattern around their dress, and it Apparated onto a hanger in front of the wardrobe.

“Moony, you remember your safeword?”

“Slug Club.”

“Good boy. I’ll take care of you.” They kissed a trail down from Remus’ collarbones, across his chest, lingering a bit on his nipples, to his navel and lower, to the inside of his thighs. Then, they took his half-hard cock into their mouth and sucked it until Remus started gasping.

“Do you want me to ride you?” Sirius asked with their blowjob-husky voice.

“P-please.”

Sirius shed their knickers, cast a preparation charm, and the newlyweds made love.

When they came back to the celebration, James pulled them both into a hug. “You shagged, didn’t you? You’re safe now!”

  
The next morning, James brought them their breakfast by eleven. They had opted to go on their honeymoon only after Remus’ recovering time from the next full moon, so they could really enjoy three weeks of it.

“You’re in the Daily Prophet, event of the year, most extravagant bride, handsome groom, bla bla bla.” James chuckled.

“I tell you, Rita Skeeter is either an insect Animagus or she has an invisibility cloak.” Remus growled, when he saw her signature under the article.

“However, it will piss Bellatrix off. She might even die of a heart attack or tear herself to pieces like Rumpelstiltskin.” Sirius laughed.

Suddenly, a sharp knock at the window interrupted them. James opened, and an eagle owl glided directly towards Sirius. They recognized it immediately as the owl Narcissa had used before Sirius had been disowned. By now it was old.

Sirius cast different detection charms at the letter. There was no trace of curses or hexes, no poison or other thing that could harm them. Finally, Sirius took the letter and read.

  


> Sirius,
> 
> Congratulations, you are like a cockroach, you would even survive Fiendfyre. I’m glad that from now on you’ll make a spectacle of the name Lupin, no longer of the Black name.
> 
> Narcissa Malfoy.

The paper was rather big for this small message, and Sirius remembered that Andromeda had shown Narcissa and him a method of writing secret messages the Muggle way. She had learned it from Ted, long before they had started dating.

He cast a heating charm on the paper, and brown letters appeared.

  


> Dear Moppet,
> 
> I’m glad you remember how to make this readable. I have seen that there is a life outside the things we have grown up with. And I want Draco and myself to get away, I could endure a lot, but Draco is a child. I want to protect him. Lucius thinks Draco won’t become a proper man if he doesn’t adapt to all those toxic rules.
> 
> And Draco suffers. He likes to dance, and Lucius forbids it. The only time Draco smiles is at Quidditch Little League. Which Lucius also only accepts because he doesn’t know that Mr. Potter is the coach.
> 
> Please, ask Mr. Potter and Reg if they can help us.
> 
> Yours,
> 
> Cissy


End file.
